in a lonely place by dorothy b. hughes

war and peace by leo tolstoy, tr. constance garnett

the situation and the story by vivian gornick (nonfic)

❦ the emigrants by w.g. sebald

☺ the virgin suicides by jeffrey eugenides

☺ gentlemen prefer blondes by anita loos

☺ green dot by madeleine gray

☺ in memory of memory by maria stepanova

☺ the ratline by philippe sands (nonfic)

⋯ the day of the locust by nathanael west

⋯ my life as a man by philip roth

☺ middlesex by jeffrey eugenides

❦ the myth of sisyphys by albert camus (nonfic) (partial reread)

☺ the quiet american by graham greene

❦ a book of common prayer by joan didion

❦ sex and rage by eve babitz

☺ ignorance by stuart firestein

❦ mansfield park by jane austen

☺ sense and sensibility by jane austen

☢ bluebeard's castle by anna biller

☺ laughter in the dark by vladimir nabokov

❦ eve's hollywood by eve babitz

☢ the dark forest by cixin liu

☢ my year of rest and relaxation by ottessa moshfegh

☺ the idiot by elif batuman

❦ bunny by mona awad

☺ a lover's discourse by roland barthes (nonfic)

☺ the goodby people by gavin lambert

☹ naked lunch by william s. burroughs

❦ photography and belief by david levi strauss (nonfic)

❦ the little friend by donna tartt

☺ pale fire by vladimir nabokov

❦ the social photo by nathan jurgenson (nonfic)

☺ miss lonelyhearts by nathanael west

⋯ with and against by dominique routhier (nonfic)

☹ the rules of attraction by bret easton ellis

☹ something new under the sun by alexandra kleeman

☺ case study by graeme macrae burnet

☺ play it as it lays by joan didion

☺ lyrical and critical essays by albert camus (nonfic)

☹ girl online by joanna walsh (nonfic)

❦ taking a long look by vivian gornick (nonfic)

☺ set the night on fire by mike davis and jon wiener (nonfic)

☺ comments on the society of the spectacle by guy debord (nonfic)

❦ the stranger by albert camus

❦ the committed by viet thanh nguyen

☺ society of the spectacle by guy debord (nonfic)

❦ l.a. woman by eve babitz

⋯ daisy jones & the six by taylor jenkins reid

❦ catch-22 by joseph heller (reread)

☺ slouching towards bethlehem by joan didion (nonfic)

☺ the netanyahus by joshua cohen

☺ camera lucida by roland barthes (nonfic)

☺ on photography by susan sontag (nonfic)

❦ slow days, fast company by eve babitz

☺ mercury retrograde by emily segal

☹ dracula by bram stoker

☺ severance by ling ma

☺ the walker by matthew beaumont (nonfic)

☺ amongst our weapons by ben aaronovitch

☺ a single man by christopher isherwood

☺ hard-boiled hollywood by jon lewis (nonfic)

❦ run river by joan didion

❦ the sympathizer by viet thanh nguyen

❦ circe by madeline miller

❦ the romance of american communism by vivian gornick (nonfic)

❦ gnomon by nick harkaway

⋯ dead astronauts by jeff vandermeer

☺ persuasion by jane austen

☺ manhattan beach by jennifer egan

☢ leave the world behind by rumaan alam

☺ several people are typing by calvin casulke

☺ filthy animals by brandon taylor

☺ enter the aardvark by jessica anthony

☺ real life by brandon taylor

❦ the romance of american communism by vivian gornick (nonfic)

⋯ the glass hotel by emily st. john mandel

❦ we ride upon sticks by quan barry

☺ shades of grey by jasper fforde (reread)

☺ the mirror and the light by hilary mantel

❦ tinker tailor soldier spy by john le carré (reread)

⋯ the lost shtetl by max gross

❦ east west street by philippe sands (nonfic)

❦ the plague by albert camus, tr. stewart gilbert

⋯ piranesi by susanna clarke

☹ silence of the girls by pat barker

☺ false vakue by ben aaronovitch

❦ bring up the bodies by hilary mantel

☺ the goldfinch by donna tartt

❦ acceptance by jeff vandermeer

⋯ the night circus by erin morgenstern

obviously this is not every book i've ever read, but i can only go back to 2020 because that's when i deleted my goodreads and started tracking books in librarything and later bookworm. it also marks a pivot point in my reading life: i completed my phd in 2020, and suddenly i had time to read again. (my covid-related unemployment also contributed, lol.) i felt a little ashamed for reading nothing of substance in my university years, and in general acting too pretentious about books for someone who had not read all that widely. so in 2020 i decided to really read with intention, build the personality i wanted through the books i chose. these days, i ask myself "do i want to be able to hold a conversation about this?" and it's been working pretty well for me. every year i read more (and get offline) and find more to love and learn.

in that spirit, i want to list a handful of books that are deeply significant to me which i read prior to 2020 (a couple of them are listed above as rereads), so i can give the reader a better idea of my tastes, and, if our tastes coincide, more recs:

❦ emma by jane austen

❦ pride and prejudice by jane austen

❦ pandaemonium by christopher brookmyre

❦ jonathan strange & mr norrell by susanna clarke

❦ catch-22 by joseph heller

❦ tinker tailor soldier spy by john le carré

❦ the spy who came in from the cold by john le carré

❦ wolf hall by hilary mantel

❦ the secret history by donna tartt